Expectations on Beauty

It’s ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way when people equate beauty with having a loving relationship or worse, deserving one. Maybe it makes sense if the external beauty is a reflection of inner beauty… but so many times it’s not. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway…. at least that’s what the quote says… there’s a golden ratio that has stood the test of time and buildings or faces with that ratio are consistently considered beautiful. 


It doesn’t rub me the wrong way b/c I think I’m not cut from the right fabric… (enough guys eyes have told me I’m desirable) It’s frustrating b/c it feels like:

“you bring pleasure to men, so you are worthy of being loved.” That’s not a definition of worth that I want.
and my mind twists it to:
“you are lust afterable, so someone amazing will surely lust after you.” 
and guys have…. too many guys think I’m great to have around, or good for them, or nice or what have you… but it’s not me they like, it’s what my presence does for them. It’s like they can’t see who I am. Maybe I’m not helping. I can clearly see I’m not their type. I don’t know why they are confused. There are three guys I know right now whose type I could be, but our social circles are not creating natural overlap. Maybe I’ll have the honor of getting to know one of them really well… maybe not.

All those frustrations aside, beauty is powerful. I have started enjoying being a work of art every day and the result has been 1) students listening to me better and respecting me more 2) better service when I run errands 3) people listen when I talk.




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